the weak ones are there to justify the strong

There's these moments when I try and try to figure something out. My mind goes on and on especially during the daily routines (otherwise they would drive me insane anyway). This morning, I was preparing breakfast and it crossed my mind that she might be acting like that because I remind her too much of the things she considers weak about herself. I notice this in me sometimes, there is a great difference between who I am and who I want to be. It can be with others too. This is a reasonable way of explaining and undetstanding her inconsequent behaviour.

I totally believe that deep inside of her soul she doesn't mean all she is doing and that in a shallow degree she also is a bit dazzled with her own reactions towards me. I'm not trying to find excuses for her behaviour (as Mona says) but rather try to explain to myself what I first seen in her. I need to draw some guidelines for my own definitions of what I want and like, what I really search for in my own life.

People can't be naturally bad deep inside; surely selfish but no one wants to hurt the other intentionally. They are proud and they are selfish but not bad.

My own behaviour towards certain people a lot of times amazes me; makes me urecognizable to myself. I am a lot of things I never thought I could be but only in certain situations. The environment influences me, inspires me, gives me courage, makes me weak, provides energy or apathy, brings out the good or the mean, the philanthropy or the selfish. Should I blame it? No, no, no...